I started playing the violin again tonight. I haven't played in twenty years. I was like I was a new student of music. And yet, not. I played just some scales, concentrating on placement, bow arm, tension, with no vibrato. Vibrato is gone, but it will come in time. It is the least of the problems involved. It was rough, but after playing scales for thirty minutes, I could start to feel my fingers and bow arm loosing up a bit. And, the sound improved tremendously. I have a lot of work to do before playing anything of substance.
My mind is sharp. I haven't forgotten technique, which is good because that's the really hard part to learn. It's just that my physical body can no longer do what I would like it to do, yet. I have to be patient.
Finally, I started putting things away, the bow, cleaning the strings of rosin. Most importantly, I took my 1750 Gagliano violin in my arms, took a moment of silence, and simply said out of respect, "I'm sorry for this. Maybe if you are patient with me, we can once again sing together."